


Harrowing

by Zerabeth



Series: To Love a Blood Mage [10]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: A very nice distraction, But Anders is a nice distractions, Circle Mage - Freeform, Circle of Magi, Fuck the fade, Gen, Harrowing, I am such a fucking tease, I would say sorry, Kinloch Hold, Lime, Reader is a slut, This is to be expected at this point, To be honest, but I'm really not, but not really cause Jowan is a little fuck right now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerabeth/pseuds/Zerabeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your released from Solitary and later spirited out of bed in the middle of the night. It's not as sexual as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harrowing

 Anders was kept away from you, courtesy of the very kind Edlyn. She cut down on visiting as punishment. You had snorted at that, seeing as how she continued to visit you almost every day.  

 

 Still though, without Anders, solitary was very.. lonely. So you ended up with a lot of free time, and in said free time you read your book on shape shifting, a few dozen times. It was an interesting read, regardless of the fact it was banned by the chantry. 

 

 You were enamored with the idea of shape shifting, being able to switch into a different form as easily as breathing, or so the book said.

 

 So, throughout the lonely weeks, you found yourself observing Mr. Wiggums as he flitted about the dungeons, catching mice, or lying about. You watched him for hours on end, the way his tail would lazily flick around, the way he would rub his head across his paws when lied down.

 

 You were very observant, and quickly found that you could pick up subtle hints the tabby would drop when he wanted something, to be fed, scratched, held, etc.

 

 After observing Mr. Wiggums for weeks, nearing the end of your solitary, you decide you wanted to try to shift.

 

 So, laying on your cot and making sure no Templars were around, you closed your eyes and took several deep breaths. 

 

 Drowning out everything, you focused on Mr. Wiggums, his appearance, his mannerisms, his sounds. For a few silent moments, you lived and breathed the mouser. 

 

 You shouted out as unfamiliar magic washed over you, feeling yourself change. Gasping, your eyes flew open and you quickly took note of how large everything looked. 

 

 You squealed in happiness, the sound coming out as a yowl, you sneezed in a laugh. This was marvelous. You heard yourself purring and in your excitement, you failed to notice someone enter the room.

 

 "Creators.. Little dear, if you weren't small before, you certainly are now! I wonder if setting your coat on fire would affect your hair?" You yowled in alarm, darting under the cot. Glowering at your mentor from the darkness.

 

 "Where'd you learn how to shape shift?!" Gregoir almost shouted as he realized what exactly happened. You gave a low meow, tucking your tail beneath your paws. Gregoir spoke your name in commanding voice, narrowing his eyes. "Change back this instant, and tell me how you learned!"

 

 In a moment you were normal again, sitting in the floor.

 

 "It was a book I found, hidden in.. the library! It was hidden behind one of the bookcases, I didn't mean any harm, papae. It's harmless!" You were quick to defend yourself, grabbing the book and clutching it to your chest.

 

 "Give it to me, and never do that again, not around anyone at least.. do you understand?" Gregoir held out his hand expectantly and you nodded solemnly, placing the small book in his hand.

 

 "I understand.."

 

 " Wait ! Does that mean I can't learn from her? Greggy, I wanna learn!" Edlyn mock-cried, grabbing Gregoir's arm, acting several years younger than she was.

 

 Though, your mamae never did act her age.

 

 "Edlyn, it's- stop giving me that- the Chantry-" Gregoir sighed, shoulders slumping. "Fine,  Maker , just  stop giving me that look- I'm breaking so many-" Gregoir ran an armored hand through his greying hair. 

 

 Edlyn squealed in delight, kissing the Knight-Enchanted hard on the mouth before dashing out of the room. 

 

 "You're the best, Vhenan!" Was shouted as your mentor rounded the corner.

 

 You stared open-mouthed at the Knight-Commander who groaned, sending you a look.

 

 "Don't." 

 

 "Papae.." You approached the bars.

 " Don't ." Gregoir opened the barred door and motioned you out, then he rushed out of the room.

 

 "Wait a second, Papae!" You cursed, dashing after him, only to discover he had disappeared. Your parental figures had awful habits of running off at the most inopportune times.

 

 You supposed that's where you got it from, remembering how you had done something similar to what Edlyn had done to Jowan in the past. You suddenly groaned into your hands, remembering how Edlyn had practically dragged Anders out of solitary several weeks earlier. 

 

 You loved Jowan, you admitted it, easily. It was just a fact at this point after all, but then there was Anders. 

 

 You wouldn't necessarily say you loved him, but the attraction was definitely more than just physical. He was always fun to be around, aside from his annoying habit of never going more than five minutes without making a dirty joke or innuendo. 

 

 As you left the dungeons, you almost immediately ran into someone. 

 

 "Little star! Your out of solitary?" Jowan smiled at you, and you were immediately suspicious, he was needlessly emitting happiness. 

 

 Alarms sounded in your head.

 

 "Yes.. I am. You are.. very.. smiley." You shuffled your feet, staring inquisitively at the brunette. 

 

 "I suppose I am! You'll never believe it, I found someone!" You froze, the blood in your veins turning to ice. You swallowed hard.

 

 "Is- is that so?"

 

 "Her name is Lily, she's smart and beautiful, and-" Jowan spent several moments listing all the good qualities of this Lily, and you were pretty sure he repeated some of them several times. 

 

 You felt sick. 

 

 "Have you seen Anders, Jowan?" 

 

 "I think he's in your corner, reading some of your books, why?" Jowan looked confused, you avoided his eyes.

 

 "No particular reason, I think I'm going to go lay down actually, take a bath." You mumbled quietly as Jowan nodded slowly.

 

 "If you're sure.. come see me later?" You nodded your head in affirmation before speeding off. 

 

 You were severely tempted to go straight to Anders, but relented to a bath first and foremost. 

 

 You helped yourself to Edlyn's bath, pulling up a curtain and stripping. You heated the bath with a fire rune and slipped into the water, immediately ducking your head underneath. 

 

 You spent almost an hour, repeatedly washing your hair and needlessly scrubbing at your skin. When the rune faded, you exited the bath and dried off, running a brush through your hair.

 

 You pulled on your clothes, deciding on a white silk tunic and a particularly soft pair of blue leggings, or trousers. You almost moaned at the feel if the clothes. You hugged yourself briefly and with a tiny grin, left to find Anders.

 

 Of course, in the walk over, your happiness from the clothes wore off and the pain in your chest from so long ago returned. You rushed your corner, and away from everyone else, you were tempted to head to your secret room, but you needed the opposite of alone right now.

 

 Anders looked up from the book he was reading as you accidentally knocked one of your books on the floor, the title escaping you.

 

 Anders spoke your name but was cut off half-way as you used a force spell to push the chair he sat in back. All but throwing yourself at him, you straddled his lap, pressing your lips to his in a needy kiss, immediately grabbing and pulling at his hair to get him to open his mouth.

 

 " Anders .." You whispered his name against his lips, giving yourself a moment to breathe, and the blonde a moment to process before tugging his head forward and kissing him hard. 

 

 Anders' arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against him. 

 

 You rolled your hips, eliciting a groan from the male. You ran your hands along his neck, and stopped at his chest.

 

 "What's that trick you do again ?  With  electricity ..?" Sparks flew along your fingertips as your hands danced across Anders' clothed chest. Anders gripped your legs, a shaky laugh leaving his mouth.

 

 " You \- you're  really good with magic." Anders shuddered beneath your touch, you grinned, breathing on his ear.

 

 " I know .." You leaned back and placed a chaste kiss on his mouth, then kissed your way to his neck, taking a moment to breath in his smell, vanilla and elfroot, it was very calming, and very intoxicating at the same time. You nibbled at his neck, earning several quiet gasps. Then you bit down, you were sure the blonde you feel you smile.

 

 " Fuck .." Ander’s groaned, you laughed against his throat.

 

 “Aren’t you supposed to be the more experience one?” You teased, running your teeth across his skin, reveling in his reactions and enjoying the power you had over him at the current time.

 

 “It’s lights out, all mages are to return to their quarters immediately.” You laughed quietly at the timing as you stood up, Anders reaching out to grab you.

 

 “Ah, ah. I do not break the rules, troublemaker .” You spoke in a sing-song voice, kissing the mage on the kiss before leaving the room. 

 

 You needed another bath, preferably a long one.

 

 **

 

 "Do you normally whisk young mages away in the middle of the night?" You wondered, following after the silent Templars that had woken you several minutes before. 

 

 They didn't respond. You sighed, stretching your arms above your head. Frowning at the ceiling. Stone, stone, stone, chipped stone, stone, stone. You groaned, trying to find some other amusement besides yourself. 

 

 The group led you up the stairs and all the way to the Harrowing chamber, your eyes widened in surprise, you knew where they were leading you, due to your father-figures stories, but you had never been to the chamber before. Most apprentices hadn't, seeing the chamber was normally a one time thing for mages.

 

 You gaped at the high ceilings, looking in awe around the room. You took note of several Templars off to the side as Gregoir began his speech. You caught Irving’s gaze and glowered at the look in his eyes. You mentally stuck your tongue out at him. It's not your fault he's bad at choosing pupils, you personally would've chosen Surana. 

 

 You momentarily mulled over Surana and Amell, the two we're as different as night and day, Surana was a sweet little alienage elf who specialized in spirit healing. While Amell was a wicked human noble who specialized in Primal magic. 

 

 Something the two had in common however, was their ability to easily learn and wield magic, and they both had impressive mana pools. If Surana had come to the circle before Amell, you we're sure Irving would have chosen her instead.

 

 Surana was a precious little fennec and Amell was a bloodthirsty wolf, you inwardly sighed and shook your head. You could spend all night thinking up metaphors to compare the two, or you could actually pay attention to Gregoir, you chose the latter.

 

 “This will probably be difficult, huh?” You looked expectantly at Gregoir and got a nod in response. Irving beckoned you over to the small pool of lyrium in the middle of the room. With a shaky sigh and a reassuring look from Gregoir, you reached out to the lyrium and a burst of light was the last thing you saw.

 

 **

 

 You woke with a gasp, the raw fade greeting you as you opened your eyes. You pushed yourself off the ground, closing your eyes momentarily as you took a deep breath, letting the feeling of the fade wrap around you like a warm blanket.

 

 You opened your eyes and took a shaky step forward, eyes flitting across the landscape. 

 

 It wasn’t the first time you had wandered the fade, it was the first time it was caused by lyrium escapade however.

 

 You could see the Black City in the distance, but you barely took note of it. Focusing on the wisps that floated about the path ahead of you instead.

 

 You held out a hand, not even humoring the idea that the wisps could be dangerous. One of them easily approached you, immediately settling into circling you. The other took a much longer and settled in your outstretched hand. You laughed, enjoying the warmth of the wisp as it rested in your hand.

 

 You continued on the path, the two wisps accompanying you. After a few quiet moments you came upon wolves, normally in the fade, you rarely came across dangerous spirits.

 

 So you quickly surmised that they were apart of your ‘test’ and consequently this was a part of the fade you were unfamiliar with.

 

 You quickly let the wisp from your palm float away as the wolves attacked, you brought up a barrier and sent out an electric bolt, a wolf letting out a yelp as the wisps attacked as well. You watched in momentary awe as the sent arcane bolts at the wolves, aiding you. 

 

 As a wolf bit your arm however, your attention was quickly diverted. You hissed in pain, casting a half-assed healing spell before freezing the wolf with a winter’s breath spell and shattering it with a rock fist. 

 

 After the wolves were dealt with, you continued down the path, it was extremely linear you noted, vearing off only once or twice that you could see.

 

 “Another mage sent to their death I see..” Your head snapped to the side, immediately taking note of the mouse on the ground that had not been there before.

 

“You have been following me?” You wondered, crouching down to speak to the mouse.

 

 “You noticed?”

 

 “Yes, the wisps were uncomfortable, so I took a moment and heard you behind me.”

 

 “You- you noticed the wisps comfort?” The mouse sounded shocked, and a little skeptical. You only nodded your head in confirmation. “You.. you're not like the other apprentices, what’s your name?” 

 

 “You first, you were the one following me after all.” You looked pointedly at the mouse.

 

 “I’m- I can’t remember my name..” The mouse’s voice broke, with a sigh you held out your hand to the mouse and gently pat it on the head.

 

 “Then you shall be Mouse, is this acceptable, little Mouse?” You weren’t exactly one to go about trusting every spirit you encounter in the fade, but you also weren’t one to immediately believe that every spirit was inherently evil.

 

 “That’s- yes, I am Mouse. Thank you.” You nodded and told him your name, having a brief conversation before continuing on your path.

 

 “There is a spirit, perhaps he could help?” Mouse offered, referring to the spirit of Valor that sat by several racks of weapons. You thought about it for a moment, and relented, approaching the spirit.

 

 “Ho there, Valor,” You greeted, and thought you saw Mouse pause, in shock over your recognition of the spirit? You were uncertain. You ignored it, your attention returning to the spirit.

 

 “Greeting, friend. Undertaking the Harrowing, I see. I wish you courage.” The spirit bowed his head in greeting, you smiled slightly.

 

 “Many thanks. I was wondering, If I could make use of one of your weapons?” You gestured to the racks of swords and staves.

 

 “Of course, but first, I must ask that you beat me in a battle of strength.” You nodded in understanding, he was a spirit of Valor after all.

 

 After a quick duel, you accepted a stave from the spirit and went off to find the demon the spirits continuously mentioned.

 

 Mouse stopped you, asking if you were strong enough, you were confused of course, besides the demon of Sloth down another path, there was no where else to go, and you told him so. He recommended going to the Sloth demon and asking for help. You relinquished once more, but your suspicion of Mouse was growing, and he noticed it as well.

 

 You went up to the Sloth demon and after a few minutes of slow conversation the topic of shape shifting into a bear came up. You jumped at the opportunity.

 

 “I could show him, but you-”

 

 “I already know how to shape shift! Please, teach the both of us the form of a bear!” You practically begged the demon. Under normal circumstances you would not have made any semblance of a deal with a demon, but.. you really wanted to learn how to become a bear.

 

 So, after a short while you were in the form of a bear, yours was much closer to the Sloth demon than Mouse’s but you suspected it was from lack of trying. The wisps that flitted about you were wary of the ‘spirit’ and that alarmed you.

 

 You turned back to normal and led the way to the demon everyone continued talking about. You send a cone of cold the demon’s way before it could speaking, quickly taking advantage of the Rage demon’s weakness. It was over far too soon, and alarm bells went off in your mind as you turned warily to Mouse.

 

Mouse quickly went on a rant, maybe in a last ditch effort to convince you he was but an apprentice, but the wisps brushed against you, and you could feel their wariness.

 

 “A demon of Pride?” You guessed.

 

 “Unlike the others indeed, I did not expect you to befriend the spirits little mage, but I am glad you did. This has been a learning experience.” The grin of the demon was the last thing you saw as your conscious left the fade.

**Author's Note:**

> I have noticed my chapters getting progressively smuttier and I really hope you guys are screaming right now because I'm such a tease, cause if your not, I have failed as an author. I'm also very sorry this sorta turned into Anders/Reader, which was totally unexpected, but also.. it's the Circle of Ferelden, what else did you expect?


End file.
